According to organizing expert Shira Gill, we spend far more time dwelling on differences and challenges than cultivating shared goals, and identifying overlapping values when it comes to organizing our homes. Consider what it would look and feel like to collaborate with your partner to create an environment you are both happy to come home to. Instead of nagging, or focusing on the things that aren’t working in your home, take time to brainstorm with your partner and identify an aspirational vision for your space you can work towards together.
Shira says, “Most of the conversations I witness in my work involve a lot of finger pointing and blame. “She leaves her stuff everywhere,” or “I just can’t get him to understand that we don’t need five toolsets!” Instead of casting blame, focus on owning your own feelings and communicate your motivation for wanting to declutter or get organized. I realized years ago that my husband just didn’t see the things that bothered me like crumbs on the counter or mail tossed on the dining room table. I found it most helpful to explain that for me having a tidy, organized home gave me a sense of peace and control in a world that often feels out of control. He agreed to do his best to maintain the systems I set up and I agreed to do the lion’s share of the work since ultimately it was my need and not his.Focusing on your partner’s strength also helps reduce resentment. It feels a lot better to think about what a wonderful chef my husband is, and how great he is with our girls, than to stew about socks left out.”
Read more from Shira about vital organization conversations here
